FALL 2011




Solidus Online

Michael Laskowski

Changed Forever

Isn’t it frustrating doing homework every night after a long school day? You come home, eat dinner, have a talk with the old man about why it’s important to get a job, and then finally start your homework after the grogginess and laziness really start to kick in. Let me tell you, I wasn’t groggy or tired, nor did I believe what spectacular event had just enlightened me and changed the way I look at life forever.

It’s a cold, crisp night in late November and not a blissful breeze of wind is present. Picture the sound of distant howls from a pack of coyotes in the woods amidst an iridescent moon softly emitting a slight shimmer of light on the tall, obscure trees. There’s a sense of mystery and spookiness that comes to mind creating the perfect feeling that Halloween night is emerging. Witches are carefully stirring their cauldrons; ghosts are flying hastily through the air trying to find their resting place; and the occasional animal is scampering amongst the freshly fallen leaves on the ground. This is the image I get as my eyes are glued out the window on the front porch of my house at the bright white Christmas lights which forcefully seduce me to look at them. I try to look away, but I can’t. This powerful feeling of a supernatural spirit suddenly overwhelms me. My mind is running a thousand miles an hour. I’m sweating, getting all worked up, and I don’t even know it. Then, I come back to reality, and all I can think of is one word; God.

I begin to absorb what just happened, why I just thought of God. I’m sitting here, staring blankly as I attempt to finally complete my homework. I grab the pencil firmly with my left hand. But, I stop and slowly put the pencil down, making sure not to make a sound. I question my existence for a moment. 30 seconds go by. Nothing. I look up again at the Christmas lights and I just can’t help but to smile. I realize that I’m talking to God without a word even being spoken from my mouth. I can’t explain it, I just know that he’s there right next to me. It’s an indescribable feeling that no has no explanation unless you are experiencing it yourself. I speak with my eyes, my mind, and my heart. I freeze. I finally realize that I’m shocked and smothered by way too many thoughts to even begin being anywhere close to functional. I close my eyes, and gracefully put my hands on the desk to rest my head.

I take a few minutes to myself. I ask more questions. I feel like a miniature Socrates as I ask question after question. I can’t believe this just happened. I have to find another way to prove that this wasn’t just a misunderstanding. I once again, shut my eyes and take long, deep breaths as I feel the oxygen rush to my head. I breathe in through my nose, and out through my mouth. I speak to myself and say “I’m going to slowly count down from 10. When I hit 1, the lights will go out.” I count in my head: ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. I slam my fist firmly on the table. I open my eyes, and every light in the house is off. There is no power at all. Mom comes running from upstairs and starts lighting candles on our kitchen counter. I walk in and sit down. I don’t say a word.

I have my hands folded and my chin is rested on my forearm. I sit there in silence with my mom. She’s says “Oh isn’t this so much fun?” I give her no answer. She stares at me. “Michael?” I gaze at her with no emotion, as I attempt to regain my normal state of mind. My eyes begin to blink as I start to come back. “What Mom?” “What’s wrong Michael?” “Nothing, Mom.”

There I am, my eyes precisely focused on the reflection of the dim candle off of the granite countertop. For some reason though, I feel stress upon me. I’m worried. Perhaps it was because I had an encounter with the Creator of everything? It’s quite a baffling feeling. I’m trying to gather all of the information as I sit slouching on a wooden stool. My mind is scattered everywhere and I can’t help but to feel such deep and extraordinary emotions at a time like this. I sit hesitantly thinking to myself though, could this really be happening? Is this just a figure of my imagination? Could I talk to him again? Is this a sign? All those questions are racing through my head. I have to find out if this is truly happening to me.

I once again count down from ten, hoping that the lights will turn back on. I put my head in between my arms. I sit there and breathe deeply for a few moments. I can feel the condensation rise as it escapes from my mouth and onto the chilly countertop. My pores open up and extract the slightest of sweat. I count: ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. My hand bashes the countertop and I hear a slight whimper from my mom. I pick my head up and my eyes instantly dilate at the sight of infinite rays of light penetrating my pupils. I can’t even believe it. It’s a miracle, a relief. The lights came back on. I’m not afraid, I’m not scared, I’m plain happy. I’m happy to know that God is with me, and that God is with all of us. Even in the smallest situations. Mom is scurrying around the kitchen, carefully blowing out all the candles. She stops and looks at me puzzled. She says “Are you sure you’re okay?” We quickly make eye contact. I gently smile at her and say in a soft, joyful voice “yes Mom, everything is fine.” Nevertheless, in any situation, I knew God was forever going to be with me in this great journey we call life.

To this day, I still connect with god. I always think about him. I went to church 2 days ago for the first time in 3 years and I really did feel a connection. It’s almost like every time I close my eyes and believe, I see him. It’s a great feeling. I wish everyone could experience this to show them that there is a greater power that is here to help us seek peace with everything. I truly believe through a strong interaction with the mind and body, a person can experience a relationship with any God they perceive to see as a higher being.


Michael Laskowski
Michael Laskowski is a student at Colby-Sawyer College